Debi's Testimony: Struggling with Anxiety

I'm a grateful believer in Jesus Christ who struggles with depression anxiety anger and the death my 2 sisters and 2 children my name is Debi.

I've found that what we call life is harder than what most people have to deal with or even have to live with.
I've lost two sisters from drugs at a very young age that my mother gave us and she even partied with us. I was a drug addict at a very your age. I was 8 years old years the 1st time my mother let me smoke THC. Then it escalated to much harder drugs. LSD, Coke, sniffing and drinking hard liquor.
The day my 13 year old sister died I was only 16. I ask God to put his loving hands on my life and to help me get through not only losing my sister, but help me get off drugs. With his love and grace ive been drug free for over 45 years. The funny thing is I never even desired to take another drug after that. I did smoke pot once in a while, but as for the really hard stuff The Lord took the desire away. It's been almost 45 years now that I've been drug free and never looked back.



Romans 5:9 NIV:
Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him!

He saved me from the drugs and abuse in my life. Praise God

When I was in my 20's I ask my mother if she knew i had been sexual abused as a child, her answer was yes, but yet she did nothing about it. I was hurt and angry at her for not removing me from the situation.
Mark 10:14
14 But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, "Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.

When I lost both my children my daughter Michelle was only 28 and I'm still struggling to forgive the person I blame for her death. But God says
“Then Peter came to Him and said, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.’” Matthew 18:21-22. But I'm still struggling. I know one day I'll be able to forgive and move on.
Then my son Ricky was 33 when I lost him. I was devastated I didn't think I could make it through losing the only child i had left. God days
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Ricky was everything to me. The mother of his two children had past away 9 months prior to us lossing him. I cant even explain the pain I feel after lossing my two children.
My mother and father both sets of grandparents passed leaving me all alone with no family except my husband, sister and niece. I throught who's here to help me raise theses babies.
I've raised all 4 of my grandchildren. They age from 7 to 21. My daughter's two were 5 and 6 when I got them and my sons two were not quite 1 and 6. As a matter of fact the 7 year old and 12 year old are still at home. Mykail my 7 year old has more medical problems than any child should have to go through but God is good and fairhful and we take one day at a time with Mykail. Most people don't understand him and get upset with the things he does. They dont understand him or his Diagnosis. This is the way God made him., and he's a special little boy. Mykail has Neurofibromatosis type 1 (also called von Recklinghausen’s disease and NF1) it causes spots of pigmentation on the skin. These are sometimes called café-au-lait spots because their color resembles coffee with cream. This is the most common form of NF and is known to cause heart defects, bone abnormalities, and skeletal deformities. In 60% of cases, it also causes learning disabilities.
autism, ADHD ,People may experience:
Behavioral: aggression, excitability, fidgeting, hyperactivity, impulsivity, irritability, lack of restraint, or persistent repetition of words or actions
Cognitive: absent-mindedness, difficulty focusing, forgetfulness, problem paying attention, or short attention span
Mood: anger, anxiety, boredom, excitement, or mood swings
Also common: depression or learning disability
OCD odsessive compulsive disorder,
ODD oppositional defiant disorder
we just found out today he also has asthma.
God has big plans for this little man I know it.

I still have my sister, husband, and grandchildren.

I was hoping to meet my sibling that I recently fould out about while on our way out to California. My mother gave her up for adoption in 1967. My mother never told one single person about her. So it came as a surprise to us. Her family is having a hard time with her finding her biological family. I understand that somethings are just not met to be. I respect that, but it still saddens and hurts me to know I have a sister I may never get to meet and love and get to know her and her family. Im so grateful that God placed her in a loving and safe family. Thats the one good thing my mother did do in her life. Is give her a good life. My sister would have never gotten that loving kind and care if my mother had kept her. So I thank my mother for that one decision she made in her life.
My mother made so many major mistakes in her life. She really screwed up a lot of people's lives. I feel that I'm being punished for her sins. But in her older life she became somewhat a good person and mother. I sadden because I believe she left this world not knowing the Lord.
My grandparents raised me in an alcoholic environment and was abused, so most people would think I would have never make it through life.
I've always admitted that things in my life were way beyond not normal as a matter of fact they were horrible.
2 Samuel 16:12
It may be that the Lord will look upon my misery and restore to me his covenant blessing instead of his curse today. ”
Most people that know my story think im a miracle. Maybe I am i just know that without God I truly believe I wouldn't be here today.

Not only living my life as I did.
I'm a survivor after being kidnapped, raped, and beaten. Beat cancer three times.. l8ved with abusive husband I've come through to the other side with Gods love and Grace.
Psalm 91:2
I will say of Jehovah, He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in whom I trust.

My God's love and Grace be with each of you. And thank you for letting me share part of my testimony with you.

One day i hope to be able to share my testimony around the world. And go to Disney world lol.


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